I'm afraid of....
I'm afraid of swimming in the ocean, the idea of something swimming under me, whether it's big or small. It just creeps me out not knowing what I'm up against. Like, with a lion or a bear, I at least have a fighting chance. Climb a tree, run, do something... All i can do in the ocean if something were wanting to take a juicy bite out of "the Brosky" is swim at a mile and a half and hour. Brilliant plan. More like no plan at all. Just play dead or something, act like your dead then be dead. Awesome!
I'm afraid of tight spaces, I'm not necessarily clostrophobic, but i don't like to be in a place where its difficult to breathe and hard to move. I can go into caves. I can do anything that a non-clostrophobic person can do, it's just the fact that it scares me. Almost as if i couldn't trust myself enough to get myself out of that tight squeeze. The example for this particular semi-phobia of mine would be drowning, I would rather die by fire, then by water. I mean, don't get me wrong, fire would hurt like no other, but there's a sense that i would have some relief. I know that sounds weird. But thats just how i feel. Drowning would put me in a position where i would be giving up on myself my lungs would be the factor, my body movement, my life would be my decision, and that scares me. I don't want my last thoughts to be "just give up, take that breath of cold water." thats messed up..
I'm afraid of having no control of most situations. I don't like to be helpless. HELPLESS is what scares me the most. Think about it. No one can help you, everything is a blur to you. You can't fix it, you can't make it better. Take this into perspective, you get in a car crash, a head-on collision in which you break your spinal cord, and crack your head open. Your in the hospital. You have no ability to control your arms, legs, or thoughts. You can't speak, you can't eat, you can't do anything on your own. But you can see the world around you. And you are helpless. That's it. That's your life. That's what scares me more than anything in the world. That's my hell. and I fear for it.
I don't like to be scared of being scared. I want to live my life without fear. whats the point of living if your only afaid of death?
Deep stuff on this blog. I think it is really interesting that you would rather die by fire than by water. Most people would say water because it is pianless, but I like your reason as well. I also like what you said at the end as well because I also think that is true as well. Keep the stuff coming cuse I think that what you have been writing is awesome!
ReplyDeleteWho knew my best friend could be so deep(: I really love this. I know your a strong individual. Your in the Army for heck sakes! You gotta be pretty tough to be willing to go fight and die for the things you love. I really think you are an amazing person. Everyone is scared of things. but it's what you do about it that makes or breaks you. If you live your life in fear then it will break you. If you get COURAGE and overcome your fears then you are pretty fantastic in my book(:
ReplyDeleteI don't want my last thoughts to be "just give up, take that breath of cold water."
ReplyDeleteNever thought of it that way. This is good writing.(: